Self-help has become a genre that’s trendier than ever thanks to the rise of the viral “that-girl” persona on TikTok.
If you’re not familiar with “that girl” it’s essentially gen z’s version of “girl-boss.”
Urban dictionary defines it as,
A girl (or any gender) that gets up at five a.m., meditates, drinks smoothies, has showers every day, journaling, eating only healthy food, goes to the gym every day and is successful in many ways.
Clearly, that girl is reading self-help books— but which ones?
There’s no shortage of self-help books in the world, but the truth is that a lot of self-help books are just ok.
Often times they’re repetitive and filled with theories on what to think, but miss the boat on teaching us how to think.
They are stuffed with a lot of personal experiences being sold as the end-all-be-all of ways of doing something.
On the contrary, if a self-help book is written well it can give you clarity and insight into your own inner world.
They can provide you with the frameworks and language to explain your emotions. Which is something that we don’t learn elsewhere.
These are my top 3 self-help books which are 100% “that-girl” approved.
Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links, meaning that I will earn from qualifying purchases made. With that in mind, my promise to you is to only recommend things that I truly stand behind.
Attached
This book will change the way you approach your relationships.
It gives you a framework for understanding how you approach relationships, by raising a magnifying glass to your own behavior.
It breaks down our attachment styles into 3 groups: Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant.
When reading it is almost freaky how easy to see which one you resonate with now or the one you’ve aligned with in the past.
It goes into how the different types interact together. Showing us what can lead to toxic behaviors or relationships, and what can trigger each style.
It really made me analyze my past relationships and my behavior. I could finally understand why I acted in certain ways in specific situations and why my previous partners responded the way they did.
Anyone who is in, or wants to have a romantic relationship in their life should read this book.
Get a copy here → Attached
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Rip It Up
On the surface, I thought this book was going to be a dud, but a friend kept telling me how much this book helped her, so I decided to give it a go.
The book is based around the “as-if” principle, which tells us that it’s not our feelings that guide our actions, but our actions that guide our feelings.
This means that we do things and then we interpret that thing as a feeling. It gives us actionable tips — like that laughter is actually much more effective for happiness than a gratitude journal.
The main takeaway for me was that things like happiness and confidence can be influenced by what’s around us — meaning that we have the ability to change it.
Basically that whatever state you are in right now doesn’t have to be where you are forever.
If you’re feeling stuck or unhappy with your current state of being—this book should be at the top of your reading list.
Get a copy here →Rip it Up
The Courage to Be Disliked
This book will change your perspective on your life and the way you interact with other people.
The big takeaway from this book is that other people’s opinions are their problems, not yours — even if that opinion is about you. (This is a key philosophy in the “that-girl” universe)
This book will really give you the courage to step out of your comfort zone and not let the fear of other people’s thoughts stop you from doing something.
It gets you to stop spending your energy on things you can’t change (like other people’s thoughts) and on what you can control within your own life.
If you’re a people pleaser this book is an absolute MUST READ!
Get a copy → The Courage to Be Disliked
